Adelaide Crows

I don’t really want to write about this game, but I will anyway. I better not refer to players as canines, because some people will take offence. Let me just say that my relationships with canines have been more fulfilling than some of my human relationships. Dogs are always happy to see you. My first dog was a mongrel, and she was the best dog I ever had.

Thommo got first blood once again. I thought Jaensch did a few good things in the first quarter, especially his tackling. He almost looked a little angry with my last blog post. The Porpus read the Tigers long bombs like a war novel. Thommo scampered across the forward pocket and handballed off to Reilly who had his radar on and kicked a goal!

Griffin kicked a goal soon after, and I thought Hendo also kicked a goal, but it only hit his socks, not his foot. Gunston looked alright in the first quarter and so did Dangerfield. Dangerfield did an Eddie Hocking, but he kicked it out on the full. I’ve been waiting 18 years for that.

It was weekend at Bernies in the second quarter I thought. Crows were rewarded for their strong tackling with some holding the ball frees. Vince was the recipient of one free kick, and slotted a lovely goal! Jaensch didn’t do much in the second quarter, apart from a searing pass to Walker. Big Tex launched a scud missile that never looked like missing!

Crows dominated the contested possessions, which is what it’s all about Dwayne Barolo; oops I mean Dwayne Russell. Sylvester Sloane was hanging off the back of the pack like Jarman and crumbed a goal! There was some mongrel about Doughty with his chasing, tackling and spoiling.

Maric and Thommo are the ‘Big Mac and Cheese’ of the Crows side. I think Thommo might be another Psychic Jedi Warrior, along with Anderson Silva. I used to find Chael Sonnen amusing, but then he was disrespectful of Franklin and Griffin, so I hope Anderson messes up his face now!

I thought Hendo, Walker and Tippett played well in the second quarter. Porplyzia was a hermit amongst seagulls on the wing; he found D-Mac, and D-Mac launched a solid 7-iron to Big Tex, who took a strong mark. Walker kicked a behind. Griffin missed an absolute sitter from 10 metres, after some slick hands from Rodney Dangerfield. A late goal to Sloane was just a bit of icing on the cake; but you should never ice the cake in the second quarter.

I thought Doughty played awesome in the third quarter; it was a captain’s performance! The third quarter was pitiful, apart from some Porpus magic! He took two strong marks; after the second mark he caressed the ball, like I want to caress Arianny. He just nursed it through Darren Jarman style, and kicked a crucial goal! Dangerfield was more crooked than a Yankalilla pharmacist! He did kick one dribbling goal, but his other shots were awful! He almost proved me right, regarding what I wrote about him last week.

Gunston kicked a lovely ball to Dangerfield. The Tigers lifted their contested footy count, and it showed on the scoreboard. Tigers fans lifted towards the end of the quarter. Scott Stevens gave a hot cinnamon donut to Jake King, and King shat out a sausage roll! Tigers fans are the most loyal fans in the AFL if you ask me, because Tigers haven’t won many games in the last ten years.

The last quarter was disgraceful. The Tigers storm happened before the Melbourne storm. Tigers dominated the clearances, and worked harder than the Crows, especially with their chasing. Tippett took a strong mark, and Porpus gave him a round of applause. Douglas charged through like a raging bull, then got legged; but he popped up like a cork in the ocean, and snapped a goal.

When the hail came down, it was all over by the shouting! I thought the effort was there up until three quarter time. But we lost to the Tigers, so don’t get too excited. Jaensch did nothing to make me want to keep him in the side, and he should have been dropped last week. Gunston did enough to get a game next week.  Symes was best player as far as I am concerned.  Crows fans should savour that Cats victory; because that is as good as it gets my friends! Thankyou very much, goodnight!